I’m having trouble sleeping and I’m writing this update on my phone as a means to clear my head. Hopefully that will make me feel tired. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I’m headed in life, where I’m going, and whether or not that is the right path for me to take.
It comes down to a question of happiness, or more precisely, would my path make me happy in the long run? But that isn’t something I can answer right away, certainly not now. Before I can I think I need to ask myself what happiness is to me. What do I need in order to be happy?
Do I need to know where I’m going? Do I need direction, safety, and goals? I’m starting to think, more and more, that I do not. How can that be? you might wonder. Well, I’ll try to explain my view on happiness.
The key to being content with your life is accepting it for what it is regardless of how your reality looks at any given moment. There is one constant in life and that is change. It is only when you come to terms with that fact that you can be content – because nothing in life is certain, even with a plan. I have accepted uncertainty and although it makes me agitated it also instils a sense of calm on a deeper level which allows me to be content with the majority of the things already in my life.
Now being content does not equal being happy. However, contentedness in the face of uncertainty equates to calmness, serenity, and that in turn allows you to build the foundation you need in order to become happy.
There are things that I know would make me more than content. I want to learn what it means to wholeheartedly love someone for one and I’m willing to risk my heart for it even if it might mean pain and anguish if it doesn’t last forever – but for that to happen I’d need someone I can talk to, rely and count on to be there and at the moment there isn’t such a person in my life.
I do not mean to say that I cannot be happy on my own, this I strongly believe possible. But given a choice I don’t think anyone would willingly chose a solitary life.
So what I am saying is that even though I may not have a strong need for the safety and comfort of knowing what I want to spend my life doing and who I want to share that with – knowing would make me smile a bit more often. I do know one thing though. No matter what I end up doing with my life, writing will without a doubt be a part of it.
Perhaps that is the key to happiness?
Having something you’re passionate about.