I’ve had an extended period of inactivity here on WordPress. I can’t really say that there has been any particular reason for this, unfortunately. I think it is perhaps more of a lapse with its roots in pensiveness rather than neglect, though. With Fiancé on the other side of the Atlantic for a couple of months, I’ve had more than ample opportunity to stay awake late at night with nothing but my own thoughts. As the time spent apart draws to a close, I realise that a part of me is waking up almost as if it has been half awake since August.

It is an odd feeling, going through your daily motions while a part of you is only partially there. Being stuck in this pseudo dream state, however, has allowed my mind to trail down different tracks than it otherwise would. I’ve always been the type to stay up late, a night owl through and through.

It is something I keep coming back to, and sometimes it even causes problems with the abovementioned daily motions. What is it that I’m so drawn to? Is it the fact that the world around me seems to calm down once the sun sets? Is it the silence that follows that attracts me? It’s not a new idea that’s at the forefront of my mind, but I keep entertaining this old notion of mine. The reason I can’t help but stay awake is not the silence and the darkness such as they are, but rather the idea that I get to enjoy them while everyone else is soundly asleep. In a way it’s a moment of exclusivity shared only with kindred night owls.

So what is it about all of this that’s so alluring? What’s the big deal? Honestly, I don’t know. What I feel it is, though, is similar to something that’s not quite a secret but more of a mystery. It is one of those things where those who get it might nod knowingly and offer a subtle smile. While it may not be a secret, its nature ensures that only those who seek it out is let in on what it’s all about.

For me personally, I enjoy it because it allows me to unwind and disconnect from the tedium of those daily obligations we all wrestle with. Even though I might end up sleeping until midday, the hours are not lost. Some of us simply allocate them differently. I don’t think we sleep more or less than others.

Lastly, I have a question for you, dear reader. When was the last time you spent some quality time with your own thoughts?

Solitude is something we get precious little of in this day and age. What you find in it may surprise you.


About Fredrik Kayser

Everything is connected.
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5 Responses to Pensive

  1. phoenixgrey85 says:

    Solitude is something I like. i get a bit of it, sometimes interrupted. But I feel I need it in order to stay sane. :)

  2. Quiet time is hit or miss with me, sometimes I love it, sometimes it’s too much lol. But I’m happy to see you back in the blogosphere! :D

  3. Andy says:

    Not yet. But I’ve got medication on stand by :)

  4. Fredrik Kayser says:

    That sounds like a great way to spend the mornings, Andy! Hopefully the kids don’t encroach too much on your You time, as those precious little creatures are so often wont to do. : )

  5. Andy says:

    Solitude is important to me. I always get up early to spend some quiet time reading. Indeed I am sat here alone, typing this at 7.30am. And my favourite time is dusk-the twilight time just beforehand the day gives in to night. If I can, I take a brew outside with me and sit in the back at that time. Everything depends on my kids, though!

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